Relieved when the candle went out

-Enga Valasi, right, an aunt of JoJo Lee Brandstatt, mourns and calls out with her sister-in-law Elena Faauli, left, during a candle light vigil for JoJo Lee Brandstatt Saturday, February 7, 2009 at the West Ridge golf course in West Valley. JoJo Lee Brandstatt, 18, was found dead on the West Ridge golf course early Friday morning. Jim Urquhart/The Salt Lake Tribune; 2/07/09-

It's been a long time since I updated, but I have decided to get back in the saddle as it were and begin posting again. 

Last weekend I was assigned to cover a candle light vigil for a young man that was killed in a bizarre case that involved two kidnappings, three armed robberies. 

According to law enforcement JoJo was lured into being kidnapped by an acquaintance that had also been kidnapped. Jojo was gunned down on the green of a local golf course and his acquaintance was then forced to hold-up three convenience stores. 

The vigil was held at the spot on the golf course where Jojo was murdered. About 50 friends and family members had shown up, many wearing shirts with Jojo's name on them and most were wearing red in remembrance of him.

My reporter and I made our way through the crowd talking to people that knew him. It was very dark but I didn't want to intrude with a camera flash so I opted to shoot at very slow shutter speeds and rely strictly on the candles to light the scene. 

Most everyone was crying, at times there was a sense of anger and several of the young men spoke about taking out some sort of revenge on those that they felt were responsible for Jojo's death. I made many frames of crying and angry people but it was the above frame that stood out to me.  

Near the end of the vigil everyone gathered tightly in a circle and a prayer was offered to Jojo. I was on the outside of the circle and made several frames with the camera held over my head looking over the group. Then a bouquet of red balloons was released and at that moment I began to hear a distinct set of cries and sobs taking place right in front of me. 

It was Jojo's aunt Enga whom he was very close to. She was calling out to balloons as they lifted skyward. She was standing right in front of me. I knew this was going to the moment that was going to tell the story of grief and loss. 

This was taking place right in front of me and I only had room to take one step back to create some some room between her and me. 

All her emotions of sorrow and loss were directed to the balloons floating away as if she was watching Jojo. She cried out over and over and I just did everything I could to keep the camera glued to my face focused on the emotions pouring out in front of me. 

Although it will never compare to what Enga was going through, as I was shooting I could feel a deep sense of sorrow for her and the pain she was going through. 

I kept shooting very deliberately keeping in mind I was shooting at such a slow shutter speed because of the darkness that many of frames may be blurry from the movement of Enga, those around her and my shaking. 

It only lasted for just under a minute but the cries and the calls out seemed to last forever. But I knew I had to keep following the scene to tell the story. 

But finally Enga became silent and her candle went out and I could not see her anymore.

I knew I had the frame and at that moment I was so relieved when her candle went out and I knew I didn't need to keep watching the scene through the lens.